Define Kiss...
* Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.

* Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.

* Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

* Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

* Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.

* Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

* Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

* Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.

* Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

* Prof. of Computer Science:
What is a kiss? It looks to be an undefined variable.

Close to my heart
I walk down the street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
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I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
Bit it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
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I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in....it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
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I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
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I walk down another street.

My Colonoscopy
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.

1. "I should be in charge," said the brain,
"Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

2. "I should be in charge," said the blood ,
"Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

3. "I should be in charge," said the stomach,"
Because I process food and give all of you energy."

4. "I should be in charge," said the legs,
"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
"Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

5. "I should be in charge," said the rectum,
"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss..

The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge