1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends.
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet.
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..... why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask.
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask.
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call.
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in
Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping... you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth.
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks.
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
MunnaBhai M.C.A.
Paras Gautam
appun jaise tappori s/w Engg. ko kya maalum...
saala programming kis chidiya kaa naam hai...
template me subclassing karke apanaa timepass hota hai....
copy paste kaa kaam miltaa hai bass appun khush...!!!
fir yeh coding kaa lafdaa locha kaiko?
are kaiko ?
arre kaiko re?
fir ek din boleto appun ko project mila.....
ya haaaaaaaaaa!!!!
saala appun ka khopdi chakkar kha gaya ...
computer ke saath dil saala takkar kha gayaa...!!!
appun ko lagaa appun kaa beda paar ho gaya...
boleto baap saala appun ko bhi kaam mil gaya...!!!
din bhar appun computer ke aagge...
koi lafdaa nahi kuch nahi...
tin din naa Raghu se raada na Abbhi se pangaa
bass choop chaap...
appun kaa bhidulog saala dar gaya...
bola kya be manya saala tu bhi programmer bann gaya...!!!
phir ek din appun ko kaam kartaa dekh vikya bola...
ye munnabhai kya coding bana rela hai baap...!!!
vikya ko pakdaa... bola idhar aa shahane tereko coding seekhataa hai... saale ko itnaa dhoyaa itnaa dhoyaa... abhi tak thobdaa waakadaa hai ... aur aaj tak uska forms ke saath chattis kaa aakdaa hai...!!!
samzaa ...?
samzaa...?
samzaaa naa...?
(fir ...? fir kya huwa..?)
fir ek din appun ne coding poora kar diya...
form poora karke appun ne testing ko bhej diya...!!!
lagataa tha ab appun kaa kaam khatam ho gaya...!!!
par DTS me issues dekhake sala appun darr gaya...!!!
appun ke saamne tester ne mere coding me ki galtiyaa nikali... aapun ke coding ki poori waat laga di.... appun udharich khadaa thaa... par appun kuch nahi bola... kaiko bolega? kaiko...?
saala ek, ek kaam kiya thaa... usme bhi itne bugs...
par appun ek aansu nahi roya...
kaiko royega...?
kaiko..?
saala appunich yedaa thaa naa...!!!
agale din se phir wohi life chalu...
wohi gande mails forward karnaa, wohi messages, wohi template, wohi assignments... saala itnaa mails forward kiya...itnaa mails forward kiya... log samze mail server down hoyega... bhoolneka hai bhoolneka hai par kya karega...!!!
training milke bhi jab kaam nahi miltaa hai...
haa thoda bore huwa par chaltaa hai...
(phir ...? phir kya huwa..?)
fir ...?
fir kya...?
fir agale din appun ko aur ek project mila...!!!
shaappak...
saala appun ka khopdi phir chakkar kha gaya ...
computer ke saath dil saala phir takkar kha gayaa...!!!
ho ho ho hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Lesson Number Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able
to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some
of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found
that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night,
there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he
was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
Management Lesson?
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Those "night outs",
those "midnight coffees",
those "b'day bumps",
those "old torn jeans",
those "late night walks",
those "long chats",
those "pinches n slaps",those "crushes on pals",
those "getting kicked out of classes"
those "struggle 4 marks",
those "writing on desks"
those "fight with teachers",
those "tear 4 love"
Just everything....thats college.
Indepandence Day
By Rajiv Walia
Mai aur Ashish aur hamari tanhaai.
Aksar chat par baitha karte,
aur ladkiyon ko dekha karte.
Ek din achaanak toofan aaya,
saamne waali aunty ne hum par,
nazron ka teer chalaaya.
Itne main aunty ki beti ne,
saath waali khidki se,
chalaane ko teer uthaaya.
Yeh dekh uss ki maa tanik sharmaai,
aur uss ne apni nazar chupai,
Itne mai hamaari padosan,
hamaare liye chaaye le aayi.
Phir humne doosri aur nazar ghumaai,
wahaan bhi hamne ek maa aur usski beti paai.
Yeh dekh hamaari aankhhen bhar aayi.
Hume kya pata tha,
aazaadi ka din iss tarha manaya jaayega,
maa aur beti ka naya andaaz saamne aayega.